WHAT IS THE MEANING OF SHAME COMING OUT OF THE SPEECH OF BRENE BROWN?

Living in a society where is preferable to talk more about some issues rather than others, it seems almost impossible to mention and live with the idea of shame. There seems to be a very annoying but at the same time very intriguing addiction to hide ourselves behind or under safe internal resorts, for the fear of no mistaking and facing this feeling that looks externally catastrophic, but deep internally educative.

Brene Brown’s speech on Ted talks summarizes key points about shame. Let’s find out about these:

·         For thousands of people the feeling of shame comes from the notion that being vulnerable means being weak. This means that a simple thought can rule our whole emotional and social complex.

·         Vulnerability is associated with being exposed, uncertain and taking sentimental risks. Its main function however lies on the hidden motive of not wanting to reveal our original self.

·         The feeling of shame escorts other disturbing thoughts like “you are not good enough” and “who do you think you are?”. Modesty is confused with procrastination as a consequence.

·         It is immensely important to understand the difference between shame and guilt. Shame can be connected with being depressive, aggressive and either suicidal. It characterizes the self as a whole. Guilt on the other hand is combined with things and attitudes. Someone may wonder: “What is worse after all? Feeling shame or guilt?” And he or she can keep wondering as the progress of turning from guilt into shame advances.

·         Women and men are different in comprehending shame. Women are put into the perfection perspective, as they would feel emotionally lame to complete everything without a clue of obvious sweat exposed to the others. They are filled with overwhelming expectations of potential failure that keeps their defences up. Men on the other hand don’t waste time to analyse: they combine shame with weakness within tenths of a second!

Two important conclusions come out of her speech: The first is that we cannot permit shame to hide our honesty along with our fears. And the second one is that if we want to know life, and become strong, we have got to dance. Being vulnerable is our chance to be creative, innovative and open to a path of progress. Many societies in our days remain under the darkness of shame. Is this always politics’ and media's’ fault of what we feel? The road of empathy has the answers. We have to understand what empathy means, for getting the point of who we are and what the rest of the world means for us.

Empathy does not mean being insensitive. It means understanding how the better comprehension of who we are and what we want will improve the standard of our living and the living of our cosmo. It is not easy. But the rewards come to those who dare to feel shame and learn from it. 

Dimitrios Morfis

Psychologist - MBA student

Email: dimitrmorfis@gmail.com

Facebook: Dimitris Morfis